WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. — I am by no means a "Swiftie." But I also haven't been living under a rock, so I'm quite aware that Taylor Swift just released her new album.
My two sons, ages 9 and 4, listen to Taylor, as does my wife. That's her influence.
So, naturally, on my way to work Friday morning, my oldest son Andrew wanted to listen to "The Tortured Poets Department."
I obliged, opening my Apple Music with no expectations nor a clue about any of the songs on the album.
We listened to track one first, which is "Fortnight," featuring Post Malone. It's also the first single from the new album.
Near the end of the song, I heard a familiar lyric.
"'Nother fortnight lost in America | Move to Florida, buy the car you want | But it won't start up 'til you touch, touch, touch me."
There it was, the mention of Florida, right there on the opening track.
Then, as I was scouring song names, I noticed track No. 8 – "Florida!!!," featuring Florence + the Machine.
Immediately, I was struck by the Florida theme.
Curious, when I got to work, I looked up the lyrics to the "Florida!!!" song. The Sunshine State is listed by its proper name 18 times in that song alone.
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Add in the two Florida lyrics in "Fortnight" and that's 20 references to my home state.
There are 31 tracks on the album (seems long), so I'm willing to bet there are even more Florida name drops, but it's only been out since 12:01 a.m. I'm going to need a little more time to dive into this.
While listening to "Florida!!!," I wanted to hear what the song was about. The first verse was a tease of what was to come.
"You can beat the heat if you beat the charges too."
I could see where this was going.
Then came the pre-chorus.
"Little did you know your home's really only a town you're just a guest in | So you work your life away just to pay for a time-share down in Destin."
There it was. "Down in Destin," as in, Florida's panhandle, a part of the state affectionately known by Florida natives as the "Redneck Riviera."
The chorus made Florida its centerpiece, as to be expected from the titular track.
"Florida is one hell of a drug | Florida can I use you up?"
But wait, there's more.
The second verse starts like this:
"The hurricane with my name when it came | got drunk and I dared it to wash me away."
We've all been there.
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If you're wondering about the triple exclamation points that follow the title, the song emphatically proclaims Florida in its bridge.
"I need to forget, so take me to Florida | I've got some regrets, I'll bury them in Florida."
Warning for parents: It contains explicit lyrics, so if you've got kids in the car, you might want to consider knocking down the volume when it gets to the bridge.
I'm not a tortured poet, so if you came here looking for a deep analysis of the album, my colleague Joel Lopez (an unapologetic "Swiftie") is likely your guy. But if you're like me, staying up past many midnights, watching TV until you're seeing red, this quick Florida-centric review should suit you evermore.