VERO BEACH, Fla. — At our Let's Hear It events, we hear from so many of you, but in Jensen Beach, one woman's story caught us by surprise.
I listened to a 'death doula', or end-of-life doula, who explained how she's working to make death less scary and ease the stress and fear of people's final weeks, months, and years. Much like a 'birth doula' helps ease the start of life, and end of life doula eases the final years, months, and days.
Melissa Ellison is a certified end-of-life doula with Floradoula LLC. She works with people facing a terminal diagnosis, the elderly, and others who just want to have an end-of-life plan — and someone they can trust to execute it as they wish.
Ellison tells me the primary goal is to enable people to pass away at home, if that's their wish. Too many people, she says, end up passing in a hospital instead because their family caregivers feel overwhelmed by the dying process.
An end-of-life doula can't administer medical care like hospice, but can spend more time with a patient than hospice can and serve as a hospice liaison. They can be in your life for years, thinking of ways to make your home more livable while battling illness or less mobility.
They can help with paperwork, making sure there's nothing you've missed, and can plan vigils, funerals and eulogies. She also connects families with medical professionals and hospice care.
It's all about helping patients have more quality time with their loved ones to make the end of life less scary and more meaningful.
"It's a window of opportunity for them to do legacy projects. Do they want to write letters to their grandchildren or record videos? Do they want to see old friends? A lot of times, at the end of life, they want to go through a forgiveness activity. Forgiving people for things they can't even remember, and also to forgive themselves," Ellison said.
This is personal for Ellison. She battled cancer, which was when she really faced her own mortality and found she was less fearful when she felt she had an end-of-life plan.
She's also hoping for a great turnout at an upcoming "End of Life Festival" in Vero Beach on February 28 from 10 am to 4 pm at the Center for Spiritual Care at 1550 24th St., Vero Beach, FL.
There will be games, letter writing, a wind phone and various vendors with conversations about death positivity, green burials and other end-of-life planning tasks.
Melissa Ellison can be contacted at floradoulallc@gmail.com
