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Experts offer advice on talking to kids in light of terrorist attack

Posted at 7:19 PM, May 23, 2017
and last updated 2017-05-23 19:19:22-04

No terror victim is deserving but the Manchester attack reaches the core of any mother or father.

Many parents sent their children off to that concert not knowing the dangers awaiting them.

How do you talk to your own children about this? And how do you and your child cope?

Pam Gionfriddo, a mental health expert and director of the Mental Health Association of Palm Beach County, has helped parents through too many tragedies.

"I've been covering disasters like this since Columbine," she said. "Parents are probably afraid to talk about these things because they don't want their children to live in fear."

Many concerts are scheduled this summer at local venues, like Perfect Vodka Amphitheater. And after this attack, parents may fear sending their child there for what is supposed to be a night of fun.

But if there's anything to learn from this, Gionfriddo said it's important to teach your child not to be be afraid but to be resilient and strong in light of this attack.

Start by asking questions about their feelings.

"If we can get kids to talk about their emotions, talk about what they're thinking and help them to have some empathy for people in our world," said Gionfriddo.

Attacks can happen anywhere so she says now is a good opportunity to create a battle plan with your kids. Before an event, have them memorize phone numbers, create a meeting place, and plan an escape route.

"We're going to have to recognize that we live in an age of violence," Gionfriddo said. "But just like we prepare for hurricanes, we prepare for natural disasters, we do want to prepare our children in case something should happen."

The MHA recently hosted a conference called “In an Age of Violence: Helping Children & Families Cope."

"We had national experts come to West Palm Beach to talk about how we can deal with living in an age of violence. One of the major factors was that really there's a lot of risk factors in our community, neighborhoods and homes -- but there's also protective factors that can help people learn coping skills," she said.

Angela Smith of Riviera Beach is too familiar with senseless violence. She's lost 16 members of her family to murder or violence, starting with her nephew, Torrey, who was gunned down in 1991. His killer was never found.

"Just last week, I attended my 356th funeral of another young man who was robbed and killed," she said.

She started the Mothers Against Murderers Association, or MAMA, to help others cope and is offering assistance to any families in need.

"We have to do what we have to do. We have to lean on one another and not be afraid to help anybody," Smith said. "Give somebody a hug today and let them know that you love them."

Smith also offered advice for how parents can cope with this attack and speak with their children.

"Just ask questions. The when, where, why. Then, explain to them the safety measures and how it could happen. You've got to help make them feel safe again," she said. "You have to think about safety when you go to an event. Make sure you watch your surroundings, make sure you find an escape route, always."

The Mental health Association of Palm Beach County also has a helpline available for parents and kids. Just call 561-801-HELP.

The organization also started a new youth group called MY LIFE, designed to empower children to come up with solutions to fight violence in their communities. Gionfriddo said this is a chance for children and teens to help empower each other, too.

"This horrible incident can be used as a spring board for young people to come up with solutions and empowering each other to improve the community," she said. "We can teach our young people how to have compassion and empathy for each other and they can help each other build resilience to be able to cope with adverse situations."

Their next meeting is June 21. Click here to learn more.

MAMA is also planning a free 'Peace at the Park' event on Memorial Day, Monday May 29. The BBQ will take place at a community park on 36th Street and 37th Street in Riviera Beach. The public is invited to attend.