As "Real Housewives of Orange County" fans know all too well, the devastating moment when Vicki Gunvalson learned her mother had died was broadcast for the world to see last month.
And she told Andy Cohen on "Watch What Happens Live" she just recently mustered up the courage to watch that painful footage for one reason and one reason only.
"I just think because I blacked out there, and it was part of my life, that I kind of felt like I'd see her come back through that episode, and I didn't. It's been really, really hard. Harder than I ever would have imagined it to be," Vicki Gunvalson confessed on "Watch What Happens Live."
Vicki's beloved mother, Joanne, died suddenly back in February. And she heard the tragic news while playing Bunco with the rest of the housewives.
"Oh my god!" (Video via Bravo / "The Real Housewives of Orange County")
The heartbreaking scene was definitely hard to watch. But Vicki revealed shortly after the episode aired she doesn't regret having the cameras rolling during that moment.
"It's part of my reality. I lost my mother. I signed up for all areas of my life to be exposed — the good and the bad."
And she later wrote in her Bravo blog she was glad she wasn't alone when she got the call.
"Having Tamra and Shannon be there for me, to hold me and cry with me, made me comforted in the fact I had friends that really cared for me and were feeling my pain with me."
This video includes images from Getty Images.