ST. LUCIE COUNTY, fla. - Documents were released Monday night in connection with Tyler Hadley, a Port St. Lucie teenager accused of killing his parents and later throwing a party.
Many of the documents are letters from Hadley, addressed to friends and relatives. They provide a peek into the life of a teenager who seems haunted by not only his past, but his present.
A jail cell at 900 N Rock Road in Fort Pierce is where Tyler Hadley, 18, lives. He passes time by writing. There are common themes in the teenager's letters. In nearly every one obtained, Hadley mentions his fear of spending life in prison.
He writes, "I don't want to go to trial cuz if I'm found guilty, which most likely I will be, then I get an automatic sentence. That's the thing that haunts me everyday and makes me wake up in cold sweat most nights."
Hadley wrote that talks with the devil and pills led to his downfall.
To his best friend, Michael Mandell, Hadley wrote, "I swear to you, Michael, the devil had a hold on me. I talked to him, and he talked to me. That's why I seemed so crazy toward the end."
In October, he wrote to his grandparents, "I just can't get rid of all this guilt. It's swallowing me whole. I wish I never started taking that d*** pill and none of this would ever have happened."
In November, he referenced a pill again in a letter to his "Grandma and Grandpap." He writes, "I'm hoping I talk to mental health tomorrow and ask them about my medicine. It's not really helping at the moment. It feels like it's making me depressed. It's not making me feel like the other pill though and that's a good thing."
Hadley mentions crying more than four times a week. He says sadness is to blame for messing up his life before he got the chance to live it.
Hadley is accused of murdering his parents, Black and Mary Jo Hadley. Authorities say he bludgeoned them with a hammer last summer, placed their bodies under debris in a back bedroom of the family home, and then threw a party.
In one postcard Hadley received from relatives, it says, "It is October 4, 2011, do you know what today would have been? Your Mom's 48th birthday." And at the bottom of the card, it reads, "If you're going through hell, keep going."
In the latest correspondence obtained by NewsChannel 5, Hadley makes no direct reference to his parents and no motive for the murders he's accused of committing.