A man accused of tossing eggs at federal courthouse workers was jailed in what could be called a hard-boiled crime caper.
Fort Pierce police officer about 11:13 a.m. April 18 went to an address in the 100 block of South U.S. 1 "in reference to an apprehended man who had been throwing eggs at employees of the Federal Courthouse," according to a recently released police report.
A U.S. Marshal had the accused egg hurler, Richard Eugene Brown, in custody, evidently making it tough for Brown to fly the coop or run like a chicken with its head cut off.
The marshal said Brown, 64, had been lobbing eggs at courthouse employees.
Eggs come from chickens, but it couldn't be determined which came first, the chicken or the egg.
A 50-year-old courthouse worker told police a 41-year-old courthouse worker ran up, saying a man was throwing eggs at her.
Eggs are a popular breakfast food, often prepared scrambled, fried or poached, and can be served with toast, bacon and orange juice. Eggs do not taste like chicken.
Meanwhile, the elder worker followed the other worker "to where the eggs were thrown and observed several smashed eggs at the location."
The report didn't state whether all the smashed eggs had been kept in one basket or whether they were organic, free range, grade A or another sort entirely.
The 41-year-old worker said Brown began throwing eggs at her as she cleaned the courthouse entrance.
It could be argued that Brown's alleged actions demonstrate he's no chicken, but they certainly are nothing to crow about.
Another marshal said Brown entered the courthouse lobby a day earlier upset and causing a flap.
"(The marshal) had told Brown to leave the property and warned him to not return to the building," a report states. "Brown, instead, returned today to throw eggs at employees."
It wasn't immediately clear whether anyone was left with egg on their face or whether the eggs struck their leg, breast or thigh.
Generally speaking, throwing food at government employees is unwise, and certainly not what it's cracked up to be.
The report didn't state whether Brown hatched the plan by himself or whether it had more than a wing and a prayer's chance of success.
Brown, of the 1300 block of North 12th Street in Fort Pierce, was arrested on charges including assault, trespassing occupied structure/conveyance and disorderly conduct.