VERO BEACH, Fla. -- An evening with malt liquor and plenty of gunfire ended with feces and a trip to the Indian River County Jail for an Orlando man, according to a recently released arrest affidavit.
An Indian River County sheriff's deputy about 9:20 p.m. April 9 went to the Gifford Docks in Vero Beach after a report of shots fired.
He found Michael Johnston, 44, who said he'd had eight drinks, including two cans of Colt 45, which he said was "too many apparently!" Another man was with him.
Johnston, of Orlando, verified they'd been firing weapons, and said the guns were his and in his vehicle's trunk. A .40 caliber Glock pistol and a .45 caliber black powder handgun turned up in the trunk.
Johnston said both men fired weapons on the dock, and that he'd been "drinking and shooting." About 20 shots were fired, he said.
The deputy saw bullet holes and other gunfire damage on the dock area. Johnston said the damage came from him shooting at a glass bottle, saying, "the dock (feces) was my (feces)!"
Johnston was swaying as the deputy spoke to him and defecated in his trousers, the affidavit states.
The context of the affidavit narrative suggests Johnston's reference to "the dock (feces)" being his "(feces)" referred to the gunfire damage, as opposed to the apparent feces in his pants.
Drinking and defecating is legal. Drinking and shooting, maybe not so much.
Johnson was arrested on misdemeanor charges including using a firearm while under the influence of alcoholic beverages and criminal mischief.
The affidavit didn't state whether Johnston hit the glass bottle.