As his lawyers appear to be preparing an insanity defense, suspected Aurora theater gunman James Holmes' opinions on rational thought and his personal experiences with a mentally ill child have been made public.
The man accused of opening fire at a Colorado movie theater wanted to study "the primary source of all things, our own minds," according to a personal statement he submitted as part of a graduate studies application.
The application included the statement, professional references and test scores.
It offered new details into the background of James Holmes, 24, the man charged with killing 12 people and wounding 58 others at an Aurora multiplex.
The documents were released Friday by the University of Illinois, where Holmes applied to the neuroscience department before opting to attend the University of Colorado.
The application, part of 176 pages released by the university, was first obtained by The News-Gazette in Champaign, Illinois.
While the documents do little to answer questions about the alleged suspect's possible motive in the July 20 shooting during a showing of the Batman movie at the Century 16 multiplex, they offer new insight into Holmes as a student and his aspirations to study the human brain.
In the statement, Holmes wrote that he has long been "fascinated by the complexities of long lost thought seemingly arising out of nowhere into stream of awareness.
"These fascinations likely stemmed from my interest in puzzles and paradoxes as an adolescent and continued through my curiosity in academic research," he wrote in the statement submitted in early 2011.
He titled his resume "aspiring scientist."
Holmes was described as taking "an active role in his education, and brings a great amount of intellectual and emotional maturity into the classroom," according to a letter of reference that appeared to be from one of his former professors.
As part of his graduate studies application, Holmes submitted a photo of himself offering a piece of straw to a llama.
The move caught the attention of Samuel Beshers, the university's neuroscience program coordinator, who pointed Holmes application to a colleague in an e-mail.
"You can't miss the llama," Beshers wrote.
One staff member, whose name was redacted from the documents, took to referring to Holmes as "the llama" in communication with others at the university.
"Do you have any of llama's travel details for next week?" one e-mail said.
According to e-mails released by the University of Illinois, Holmes visited the Urbana-Champaign campus in March 2011 and met with professors, research assistants and Beshers while touring the facilities.
The documents released by the university were heavily redacted, with nearly all names, addresses, locations and, in some cases, dates removed.
Also redacted was a character assessment by a member of the university staff.
Overall, the documents show that the faculty at the University of Illinois appeared to be taken with Holmes, offering him admission, a $22,660 stipend , and a tuition and fee waiver.
In a brief e-mail, Holmes declined the offer without giving an explanation: "Thank you for offering me a position in the Neuroscience Program at UIUC but unfortunately I will not be accepting your offer for admission. My apologies for any inconvenience this may have caused."
Holmes appears to have been accepted for admission, about the same time, to the University of Colorado's neuroscience program at the Anschutz campus in Aurora.
The University of Colorado has declined a request to release Holmes' records, citing a judge's order that sealed documents in the case.
Holmes withdrew from the neuroscience program in June, a month before the shooting, though gave no reason for his withdrawal, said Jacque Montgomery, a spokeswoman for the University of Colorado.
Colorado authorities have declined to comment on a possible motive, citing a judge's order that sealed the court record in the case. More than a dozen news organizations, including CNN, have asked the presiding judge to unseal the full record.
The events in Colorado also appear to have affected the faculty at the University of Illinois.
In an e-mail dated July 23, days after Holmes was identified as the alleged movie theater shooter, Beshers wrote an e-mail to a colleague saying "we (the program and esp. students) need to ponder this and maybe have a discussion about it."
While Beshers did not want to announce the university's connection to Holmes on its website, he wrote "at the same time there's no point in try to hide it, or hide from it."
He suggested meeting at a local restaurant and bar "where we could have a beer and talk amongst ourselves then maybe we could announce a gathering for anyone interested."
It's not clear whether the gathering occurred. Beshers did not immediately return a telephone call from CNN early Saturday seeking comment.
CNN's Greg Morrison contributed to this report.
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