A fun "do's and don'ts" piece for those turning 50 (or who are already Over the Hill) has made its way into the September issue of the AARP Bulletin. The article lists Jell-O shots as one thing to never do again, along with drinking champagne from your shoe or your son's girlfriend's shoe. It says to ax the words panties, smashed and the phrase "I'm like" out of your vocabulary. Super-tight skinny jeans are listed as a no-no "even if you are both."
But some even better advice follows the fun. The article lists people to no longer tolerate, such as arrogant doctors and those who don't know you. It also suggests some things to do at least once: write long, handwritten letters to your grandchildren, even the ones who aren’t born yet, and be able to retire but say, "the hell with it, I’m going strong!"
Here are all the suggestions from AARP's magazine for those 50 and older. Tell us your thoughts below or leave a comment on our Facebook page.
Words to Ax:
• Smashed, overserved, or hammered.
• I’m like … We mean “I said” or “I say.” So we should say it.
• Totes. Unless you mean that clever little umbrella.
• Hot. Except when referring to the weather or habaneros.
• Kick it
Things never to do again:
• Jell-O shots
• Karaoke after Jell-O shots or any other time.
• Crowd surfing to the mosh pit.
• Drinking champagne from your son’s girlfriend’s shoe. Drinking champagne from your own shoe.
• Visible tats, no matter what (or who) you escaped, no matter who or what you discovered.
• Collecting owls made of shells, frogs made of ceramic or lawn gnomes made of anything.
What not to wear:
• Miniskirts, minishorts, anything that’s been deliberately diminished or ripped.
• Low-rise pants that showcase low-rise anatomy.
• Super-tight skinny jeans, even if you are both.
• T-shirts that say “Sexy Grandma,” “Vote for Ozzy” or “I Am the Man from Nantucket.”
• Purses with dogs on them. Purses with dogs in them.
• Gold chains with your name on them. Gold chains. Chains.
People to no longer tolerate:
• Those who don’t know you when you’re down and out but just love you when you’re “back.”
• People who learned all they ever needed to know in high school—and are still living it.
• Arrogant doctors, educators, waiters, TV commentators, athletes, authors, legislators, coaches or anyone who lets a little influence go to their head.
• Space invaders. Those who stand too close, consuming space, energy, oxygen and time.
Things to do at least once:
• Create a boundary in life. Then take down a wall.
• Write long handwritten letters to your grandchildren, even the ones who aren’t born yet.
• Put your wedding photos in an album before your 25th anniversary. Finish the baby book before the kid’s 25th birthday.
• Start telling the truth, every day.
• Stand up for what you believe, and do so with dignity.
• Dance outside at night in a foreign land.
• Be able to retire but say, the hell with it, I’m going strong.
Copyright 2011 Scripps Media, Inc. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.
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