It’s the last big push this holiday season and time to start thinking about the new year. Which means, drum roll please: New Year’s Resolutions!
Now, there are two types of people out there: people who make resolutions and people who do not. According to one study done by Psychology Professor John Norcross at the University of Scranton only 75% of people who make resolutions actually manage to keep up with them past the first week of the new year, 71% past two weeks, and for better or worse, only 46% maintain them after six months.
Of course you have people who, usually on a whim, decide they want: to quit smoking, lose some extra pounds, or manage their money better, those people probably won’t make it past the first 24 hours, however, there are also others who use the new year to self reflect and make an overall assessment of their life, and their relationships.
Relationship coach for men and couples, Jason Fierstein , says he always has an influx of clients who come into his office around the first of the year and vent about their significant others' quirks, the overall relationship, where it may be headed and whether or not they should jump ship.
“I think it’s easy for people to call it quits when the new year strikes because they have the opportunity to size up the year,” he says. “The stresses of Thanksgiving and Christmas are settling down and people start contemplating if it’s worth putting in the extra effort to fix their life and relationship, or just let it fizzle out.”
And just like deciding which side of the fence you’ll be on: making a resolution or not, Fierstein advises taking a step back and weighing out your options before ending your, maybe stagnant, relationship.
“It’s just easier for people to think they can start the new year with a clean slate,” he says. “When in reality, if you end one relationship and start another, the same patterns will follow. People mean well, but they settle into what they know.”
So, instead of making a hasty decision, take a good look in the mirror. Don’t act on impulsivity. If you are thinking about starting the new year single, try and sit on it for 30 or even 60 days and instead of making a resolution, which will most likely be broken, commit to creating variety in your life and your relationship.
“Take advantage of the new year to try something new and beat the same old routine,” Fierstein says. “Make it a priority to get out and do something the two of you enjoy instead of coming home and sitting in front of the television. Listen to each other, be more exciting, and be more positive about your significant other.”
Evaluate your 2010 relationship, but dig deep to find what makes you happy and make that an active choice. Remind yourself, resolution and relationship or not, it’s a decision you’ve made and only you can be accountable for.
Copyright 2011 Scripps Media, Inc. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.
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